Sermons
Wisdom For Friendships
Series: TurbulenceWISDOM FOR FRIENDSHIPS
Sermon By Terry Siverd / October 11, 2020 / Cortland Church of Christ
The book of Proverbs is not so much a theological treatise as it is a handbook for relationships. There are small sections of Solomon's proverbs that delve into theology (chapter 8 is one example). And the entirety of the proverbs are God-centered as opposed to being a self-help manual. Solomon advances the connection between wisdom and righteousness. Godly wisdom is the foundation for living a life that is right in the sight of God.
One of the sub-topics addressed by Solomon relates to FRIENDSHIPS. Solomon's father may have been a chief conduit for what Solomon writes about friendship. It is worth noting that David (Solomon's father and Israel's second king) valued friendships greatly. In particular, the Old Testament book of 1Samuel details David's friendship with King Saul's son, Jonathan. 1Samuel, chapters18-20, tell of Jonathan & David.
1Sam.18:1 / the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. 1Sam.18:3 / Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan was David's constant friend, even when Saul insisted that David was his arch-rival and tried to hunt him down. In 1Sam.23:16 we read a brief but powerful observation: Jonathan, Saul's son, arose and went to David at Horesh and encouraged him in God.
The proverbs of Solomon have quite a bit to say about friendship.
Cultivating good friendships is not just one of the greatest joys in life, it is also one of the best helps. In Prov.13:20, Solomon urges - - He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm ... walk in the way of good men, and keep to the paths of the righteous (Prov.2:20). These are words of wisdom that parents and grandparents must communicate to their younger ones. How many young people make really bad choices because they opted to run with the wrong crowd? I know a young man who is currently doing time in prison. He would be the first to tell you of the pain he's suffered because his was wrapped up with some bad apples. Sometimes these bad choices that are made in our youth have far-reaching ramifications. It's never too late to begin anew, but damages done are not always easily overcome. C.S. Lewis wrote: “The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”
Sometimes friendships are cheapened by a lack of loyalty. We have all experienced the heartache that comes from “fair-weather friends” - - so-called friends who claim to be faithful and steadfast, but prove to be quite the contrary. Solomon touches on this in Prov.20:6 - - Many a man proclaims his loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy friend. He also cautions in Prov.18:24 - - A man of many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This word “ruin” can be translated, “broken in many places”. In 1Cor.15:33, Paul warns: bad company corrupts good morals.
Like Jonathan was to David, true friendship is constant and does not easily turn aside. In Prov.17:17, Solomon declares - - A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. In other words, genuine friends love us “warts and all”. Real friends don't abandon us when the going gets tough. Elbert Hubbard has written: “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” The friends we cherish the most are those who help us when we really need it. Someone has said, “Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil.” (Baltaser Gracian). This notion of multiplying the good and dividing the evil is such a double blessing. Dear friends are godsends to help us in times of difficulty.
Read from Eccl.4:9-12.
I want us to think continually on two fronts this morning. How we can choose to associate with good friends and how we can be a good friend to others?
Friends who are worth their weight in gold are ones who are brave enough and kind enough to speak the truth in love (Eph.4:15 & 25). We addressed this briefly last Sunday in calling attention to the duty we sometimes have to rebuke one another. Prov.27:6 states, faithful are the wounds of a friend. This candor (being frank with one another) is what Solomon calls, iron sharpening iron (Prov.27:17). This process involves friction but its design is not to alienate but to REFINE. As Tim Keller notes, “Like a surgeon, friends cut you in order to heal you.” This one man sharpening another is not a one and done endeavor. Listen to the words of Paul (Eph.4:2) - - with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love. In Col.3:12-14 Paul reiterates and expands on this exhortation - - And so, as those who have been chosen by God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond on unity. The definitive mark of a good friend is LOVE. Solomon says (Prov.17:9) - - whoever covers an offense seeks love. The apostle Peter echoes this sentiment in 1Pet.4:8 - - Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.
As we draw this lesson to a close, we even read a rather comical proverb about keeping friendships strong. Prov.25:17 states, Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor's house, lest he become weary of you and hate you. At one time or another, we have all come to be aware of the need for breathing room in friendships.
To be rich and rewarding as well as enduring, friendships need lots of nurturing.
In closing, let's think together about one more thing. In Jn.15:15, Jesus said to His disciples, “I have called you friends.” What an honor it is to be a DISCIPLE of Jesus. We cherish our relationship with our Lord. How much more beautiful to think about the yoking together of discipleship and friendship. This may sound simplistic, but I believe it is true: two vital keys to growing the church are to be authentic disciples and genuine friends.
What is that old saying? To have friends you must be a friend!
Dear Heavenly Father: As we cultivate true discipleship, help us to follow after Jesus each and every day. And in our daily walk, help us to nurture meaningful and loving friendships the way Jesus did. Through Christ Jesus, our Savior and Friend, we pray. Amen.
