Sermons
How Beautiful And Delightful
Series: TurbulenceHOW BEAUTIFUL AND DELIGHTFUL
Sermon By Terry Siverd / October 18, 2020 / Cortland Church of Christ
In our readings from the book of Proverbs we have noticed another sub-category of admonitions. These apply to MARRIAGE - - in particular to “sons” who will grow up to be husbands. If we had to summarize the book of proverbs with one sentence we could speak of them as: A collection of words of wisdom handed down from fathers to their sons. In support of this thesis, note the numerous references to “sons” in Proverbs. cf. 1:1,8, 10 & 15; 2:1; 3:1 & 11; 4:1, 20 & 20; 5:1 & 7; 6:1 & 20; 7:1 & 24; 8:1; 10:1; 13:1; 23:15; 24:13 & 21 & 31:2. While King Solomon is the primary author, King Lemuel also pens a few words to his son (31:2).
We are now living in a highly-secularized society where marriage is not always held in high esteem. This is not to say that other cultures from days gone by did not also diminish marriage. The first-century climate among which Jesus walked and talked was an epicenter of marital abuse. Marriages were sorely cheapened by selfish men who often disrespected their vows by dissolving husband & wife relationships via formal certificates of divorce that were based on the slightest offenses (Mt.5:31f and 19:7-8). It was a time when women's rights were almost non-existent. It was a man-centered world where husbands could obtain a divorce document for any minor infraction. In His teaching and preaching in the midst of such injustices, Jesus spoke boldly in declaring, What God has joined together, let no man separate (Mt.5:6b). This proclamation was counter-culture in the strongest sense.
This morning I want us to visit the proverbs with the aim of gleaning wisdom about marriage.
Our starting point for today's sermon is found in a seldom read section of the Old Testament writings: The Song Of Solomon - - a poetical love song spanning some eight chapters. According to 1Kgs.4:32, not only did Solomon pen 3,000 proverbs, he also wrote 1,005 songs. And this was viewed as Solomon's song of songs - - the best of the entire collection. This brief book is grouped with Solomon's other works: Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.
Many aspects of the life of king Solomon are perplexing. There are various interpretations regarding The Song Of Solomon. Without delving into all of these different angles, and in the interest of time, let me offer what I have found to be two of the most satisfactory and sensible explanation of this somewhat mysterious song/book. (1) One view is to place this song early in the life of Solomon's life - - distinguishing between his early days and later life. In other words this song does not seem to harmonize with a king who surrounded himself with 1,000 women. Despite being blessed by God with great wisdom (1Kgs.4:29-31), Solomon made a mess of his life. 1Kgs.11:3 records that Solomon had 700 wives...and 300 concubines, and his wives turned his heart away (from God). (2) A alternative view comes from Arthur G. Clarke as offered in the College Press Bible Study Textbook series on Ecclesiastes & Song Of Solomon by R. J. Kidwell and Don DeWelt, pg.311. It Is the story of a Shulammite maiden who has fallen in love with a shepherd. When returning from a exploratory mission, the King spies her great beauty and recruits her for his harem. In a noteworthy fashion, she refuses all that his royalty offers because her heart is fixed elsewhere. Impressed by such virtue and constancy, the king grants her permission to return home to her true love. Perhaps in observing the unwavering virtue of this Shulammite maiden, King Solomon witnessed what he had missed - - the love of one man for one woman - - a monogamous lifelong relationship filled with genuine love.
I've borrowed a phrase from Song of Songs 7:6 to give the title to this sermon. How beautiful and how delightful you are, My love, with all your charms.
SOLOMON'S WISDOM FOR MARRIAGE
Finding a wife is a GOOD thing.
Prov.18:22 states, he who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains the favor of the Lord. While you may have some solid reasons for pursuing a life of celibacy, be careful not to buy into the cynicism of many who contend that “marriage is not all that it is cracked up to being”. Since the days of creation marriage has been beautiful and delightful and it remains so. Paul urges in Heb.13:4, let marriage be held IN HONOR among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. In Prov.12:4, Solomon declares, an excellent wife is THE CROWN of her husband. In this same text he warns the wives - - she who shames (her husband) is rottenness in his bones. In Prov.19:14b, Solomon affirms, a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Keeping a wife is an even BETTER thing.
Prov.5:18 records, let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Prov.5:19 adds, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated ALWAYS with her love. The word exhilarated can also be translated by the word intoxicated. This passage points to the longevity of a marriage and the untiring nature of marital love.
Solomon also addresses some of the practical aspects of how to keep a good thing growing.
He cautions against quarreling. In Prov.17:14, he writes - - The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. Someone has written, “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.” (George Bernard Shaw). Husbands and wives have to learn how to communicate and argue constructively. In Eph.4:26 Paul exhorts, be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath. The poet Ogden Nash has opined: “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.”
Solomon also warns against harping. He writes - - The continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious woman are alike (Prov.27:15) ... He says, it is better to live in a corner on a rooftop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman (Prov.21:9) … It is better to live in a desert land, than with a contentious and vexing wife (Prov.21:19).
For a compilation of many of the positive virtues of a good wife, see Prov.31:10ff.
Comedian Henny Youngman had a skit that went as follows: “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week...She goes Tuesdays ad I go Fridays.” I presented a seminar years ago in New Mexico to a group of young marrieds. Part of my message focused on the importance of continuing to date your mate. There is no set standard for how to rate a date. Some of the highest-rated might well be the least expensive. A date need not be elaborate. What Jeannie and enjoy nowadays more than ever is “taking a ride”. I'm grateful that she never seems to get tired of my “Terrytours”. They are usually quite laid-back and simple, easy-going and conducive to enjoying each other's company. I feel certain that King Solomon would approve.
Finally, one more thing. Due to this expression, as of last Sunday Dan Kennedy has nicknamed me “Columbo”. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person (Mignon McLaughlin). Doing little, medium and big things together with affection and thoughtfulness is the surest route to marital fulfillment.
